LET ME WEEP…
Depression is a mental state, patterned by pessimism, inadequacy and despondency.
Over times, I have read of many people who have taken their own lives because they were depressed. But nobody cares to look beyond what the media tells us. Nobody cares to know what happens beyond the scene.
There are two sides to life – left and right. In the left side, there is nothing right and in the right side, there is nothing left.
Mercy Olamide Afolaranmi, a 100 level student of Obafemi Awolowo University studying microbiology was announced dead on Friday. She was just sixteen years old and it was alleged that she committed a suicide because of low grades.
I took a look through her Facebook account and it suddenly struck me that there might be more to the cause of her death. And indeed, there was more.
I wouldn’t want to dig into what was seen and proved. I just have to say there are more things probably bothering the dead than a poor grade, to the extent of opting for a suicide.
It’s not about the age of getting into higher institution. It doesn’t count as much as being able to manage emotions. But when emotional management fails, isn’t it necessary to be in the right place with the right set of people at the right time ?
Life might sometimes be bitter, but suicide is not the easiest option. It might not necessarily be an heartbreak or being jilted by a lover, this girl might just be one of those haunted by relationship with family, friends (her roommates and course mates, included).
Every act needs a trigger, every decision needs a push. The poor grades might just have made her contemplate suicide.
The reason given is an assumption not a fact. Strength differs. Just yesterday, I was counselling someone suffering from inferiority complex. What if there was no one she could speak with ? What if she was ignored ? Some can battle out their nightmares, but is it not scary when you don’t know your nightmare ?
Africans don’t usually recon with depression, instead we blame those depressed for being moody and strange. We blame them for keeping to themselves and even mock them as a lone ranger.
We seem to have forgotten about parents who impose academics on their children as if their lives depends on it. I have seen a situation where a man beat his daughter to coma because she had poor grades. I have seen parents disowning their children because of poor grades.
Not everyone that has a carry over is a dunce. We have hungry lecturers who fail female students as a payback for not getting under her skirts. But all these are propositions. The poor grades was a trigger. It wasn’t the major reason.
On October 10, the late Mercy made a post on Facebook :
“Above all other things, I just wanna see God, see what he looks like, speak with him face to face. I don’t wanna miss heaven. LORD HELP ME”.
Whatever that might imply or whatever prompted her, no one cared to know. Some responded with a laughter reaction on the post, some commented ” Lmao..looll”. No one looked beyond that, no one saw the pains in her laughter, the “I’m hurt” in her “I’m fine”.
On July 22, she had made a post : “It’s good to be in a box”.
No one cared about that, no one reasoned the depth behind that statement. It looks like a joke. As per that time, it implies she has been bothered by some things and not just poor grades that came up as of late.
Perhaps, if she had gotten a virtual attention from a concerned fellow, she would have opened up and probably be alive. I knew her after her death, but I wished I had known her earlier.
Truth is never complete. There are things we know and there are we don’t .
While we mourn and weep, some people would still blame her because they didn’t see the writings on the wall. And while I weep, who says it can’t be a murder disguised as suicide ?
Let me weep, solemnly.
Good night, Miss Mercy Olamide Afolaranmi.
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